10 Things to do on Valentine’s Day When You Are Single


  1. Drunk text your Ex

It won’t make you feel better about the situation. But at least you can tell them you still want them. Then in the morning, when they call you, ignore them so they know what rejection feels like.

  1. Call your mom, or grandmom, or dad figures

They love you. They probably are the first people that loved you. Tell them Happy Valentine’s Day. Maybe visit them wherever they are. Sometimes old people get lonely at this time of year too, especially if their other half is gone by now.

  1. Go see “How to be Single”

Mostly because Rebel Wilson is fucking hilarious and I love her. But also go see it for a tutorial. Maybe you’ll learn something while tuning into Rebel’s sexy ass accent.

  1. Eat low fat ice cream

Let’s face it, being lonely is a bummer. And while some of us like to binge eat in these moments, putting on extra pounds won’t be the smartest thing while waiting to get back out in the dating world. But binge eat today. Healthy binge eat though.

  1. Play with your favorite dildo

Have sex with yourself when no one else will. This also goes for side bitches. You won’t be celebrating today because he’s with the family, so technically you’re single. So go fuck yourself. Literally.

  1. Go to a museum

Looking at pictures are nice. Going to the Museum of Sex might be nice too. It will get your mind off of things.

  1. Have a Girls Night out

Get the rest of your single friends together and go have some fun. Guys can have a guy’s night out too but if they’re homophobic they’ll just say, “that’s gay.” But yea, have some fun with friends. But don’t get too drunk and make out. It would make things awkward later.

  1. Take yourself out on a date  Yes, you can make reservations for a table for one. You can enjoy your own company.
  1. Meet a Random on Tinder

Fuck some random person tonight. You’re single. Get loose but protect yourself. It might turn into something great. Like a LTR FWB type thing. Or a traditional let’s fuck once a year on Valentine’s Day because we’re both miserable, type of thing.

  1. Love Yourself

Take this time to love yourself. You’re single for a reason. Don’t be sad about it. Be happy that you don’t have to share yourself with anyone else in the moment. Justin Bieber said it the bestest.